February feels like that first breath of fresh air you get when you get off the plane that is January. It’s like suffering through 31 days of turbulence, not really knowing when you’ll hit the ground, if at all, and only happy once the 1st of February’s brief string of days roll around in the form of the seatbelt light going off.
I know where I was going with this, I promise.
The days are getting brighter which means that I no longer leave for work in the dead of night and arrive home in the dead of night. The air feels fresher (though the weather is still yoyoing), everyone seems to be in a better mood, and it’s fine to start “spring cleaning” because hey, it’s technically Spring if you live on this island.
I’ve been beyond busy with work, gym, and drama (the good kind) that I’ve barely had a moment to myself amidst rehearsals, fighting for treadmills, and receiving cold calls from stationery suppliers in the back end of nowhere.
Continue reading “February 2.0”
This year will be nine years since I started experiencing Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (and six since I started doing something about it).
I think a lot of people who knew me when I started college are aware of this but I’m choosing to write about it now, nearly a decade on from the first instance of it (during my Junior Cert!), and six since I sought help, as I have a much better perspective of my experience than before.
There are two days in my life that could categorically be dubbed ‘the worst days of my life’.
The first one was when I was 18 on a family holiday in France and the other when I was on a trip to Achill Island in 2013.
Continue reading “OCD, Nine Years On.”
A brief one as I stand in line for 2018
Here’s to the one who said it was going to be fine, when I was sure it wasn’t.
To the one who wanted a catch up but didn’t let me say a thing.
To the one whose actions contradict their words
To the one who didn’t ask questions and just sent support
To the one who never makes me feel welcome
To the one who thought I had no feelings of my own to hurt.
To the ones I hurt more than I knew.
To the one I wish I ended things better with
To the friends I disappointed by my own lack of courage or back bone
Continue reading “Here’s To”
Hello New Graduates
Welcome to the Real World of taxes, graduate programmes, conferences, long client phone calls, and insurance. It’s not a pretty one. In fact, it often gets really, really ugly. Gone are the days where having four classes in a day was a justifiable complaint, when you could skip a lecture every now and then, where you spent all day and all night labouring over an essay like you were giving birth. Now you’re into what they have been complaining about for decades – the dreaded 9-5.
There are many things you won’t miss. The exams, the study, the essays, the meetings with lecturers or speaking out at seminars but the stress and emotions associated with them, they now come in different forms. You will still stress about writing papers, submitting reviews, passing interview questions or questions from your superiors. Deadlines still exist, as do hangovers, correct email etiquette matters now more than ever but it’s not all bad – in fact, you begin to relish evenings, weekends and bank holidays where you don’t have to come home to more work.
Sure, work life can be stressful but at least you’re spared of the constant fear of how your performance will impact your grade nine months down the road.
I’m out of college 18 months now and I’m in my first office job just over four months – I’ve had stints in shops and internships in the meantime – and I think I’ve learned more from being a so-called “professional” than a student. It’s as if college life prepared you for the basics but nothing can prepare you for everything that it contains.
I’ve prepared six lessons I’ve learned from the last few months of full time office work – including my internship – that I would have loved to have known when I graduated. Remember that starting a full time job is the first step on a very long ladder. You can’t see where it ends but you know that taking that step will bring you closer to whatever it is.
Continue reading “6 Lessons I’ve Learned From My First Office Job”
I base a lot of my self worth on the opinions of others. And then some.
I base a lot of my self worth on the opinions of others and in long drawn-out comparisons that leave me feeling stale. And every time, it ends with “why not me”.
It’s something that’s been there for a lot of my life. My school was competitive, elitist – and whilst it taught me some incredibly important moral values, it didn’t see us all as equal. Some were just more equal than others. Ten year old me wanted to be good at sports but I couldn’t because I didn’t take extra classes outside of school, I wanted to wear the bulky Tiffany necklaces and own a Mini Cooper, things that divided the social standing, gave you a sense of “identity”, and initiated you in the unspoken secret society of kids who I believed to be undeniably happy, the only problems in their lives being whether or not they wanted to curl their hair in the morning.
It wasn’t jealousy so much as it was thinking, I wasn’t good enough or happy until I had these things.
Continue reading “Who We Are”
September has been a busy one. It was the first full month at my new job which comes with its own challenges itself but also the first full month of me actively trying to find balance in my life. There were some ups and some downs (literally… I fell down the stairs) but I feel much better about things than I did one month ago.
Here are the four things this month that kept me busy:
Dear Amy Sherman-Palladino,
I am so sorry I ever called this show boring.
I managed to binge watch the entire first season of Gilmore Girls in a week, which is impressive for me given that I was never one for Netflix binge watching and that the episodes are approx 40mins long.
But God, I am so sorry for ever calling this TV show boring.
I was only eleven when I first saw it and I guess I just didn’t get it. Why was there such a big deal over Lorelai being so young? Why on earth would you call your daughter Rory? I had pretty much judged it before I could actually mature and appreciate it.
Continue reading “September”
We were scouting out old photos in the attic last week and found these polaroids gems from 1997/1998 when I ran away with the circus and became a snake handler. My dreams were crushed when my mother found me proudly wearing a Boa Constrictor at age 3.
Check out those curls though!
“It’s called fashion, sweaty, look it up”
I think baby photos are the best when you’re at your most hilarious.