Everything I’ve Learned

Do you want an emotional and soppy post? No?

Tough, you’re getting it anyway.

I wouldn’t be where I am today if it weren’t for the people around me, the people who have shaped me since I was a child, the ones who have been constant and the ones who drift in and out. And it’s especially true for periods of transitions where you’re a little in the dark. In the last 18 months, I moved out of home, I started a new job, I went back to college, I sought treatment for my anxiety and I took a two week travelling trip to the US on my own. This is more than I could probably have imagined for my 24 year old self when I was in college.

But transitions like these are hard.

Making life changes like this can make you feel like your life is on hold. I wanted to put my energy wholly into the change that was going on in my life. I didn’t want to focus on anything but that. I guess it’s a bit like with anything you start new with; you give it your undivided attention until you get the swing of it and as a result, the things you used to take for granted slip a little. For me, it was my friends.

I’ve just about begun to see my friends again. As in, I’ve begun to actively seek them out and spend time with them – not just message them on Facebook until one of us gives the other the ‘seen’. My time spent in “selective solitude” (which let’s face it, sounds far more sombre than it is) has led me to question the importance of the friendships and relationships in my life at the moment. Who is filling me with inspiration and who gets a kick out of dragging me down when I’m having a good day.

I then began to realise that we make different friends for different reasons. We each get different things out of the relationships we cultivate, and that led me to map out what I have learned from the people closest to me. I’ve learned a lot from the relationships in my life – things that have been valuable beyond words and I can only hope that I’ll continue to learn more.

From my best friends, I’ve learned that the stupid humour is the best kind of humour. And that having mutual weird obsessions can be the building blocks for long-lasting friendships.

From the strongest person I know, I’ve learned that being dangerously ill doesn’t stop life. Life doesn’t stop until you say so.

From my mother, I’ve learned to say fuck it and just do it – what’s the worst that could possibly happen?

From my dad, I’ve learned the importance of putting a professional shine to everything you do and to be nice to everyone, for they are probably suffering too.

From Maxie, I’ve learned that I don’t have to have it all figured out right now or ever.

From the girls who dated the guys I’ve liked over the years, I’ve learned that no one’s life is perfect and for me to assume you had it all was wrong of me. You have your own terrifying battles, just like everyone else.

From my best guy friend who is essentially my brother, I’ve learned that I am worthy of the best things life can give me and I was wrong to doubt that otherwise.

From the boys who have broken my heart over the last few years, I’ve learned that channeling that energy into becoming a better person is so much better than changing who I am so that I fit in within their standards.

From past friends, I’ve learned to speak up and communicate before the car hits the wall. And some things just aren’t worth saving.

From people who have drifted out of my life, I’ve learned to pick my battles, understand that some friendships are worth more than the issues we face and some are not.

And from myself, I’ve learned that patience is a good thing. That not everything has to happen instantaneously and that anyone who says Supercut by Lorde isn’t the greatest song in history is wrong.






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