101 Things in 1001 Days

101 Things in 1001 Days

Mackenzie Horan’s Design Darling has come back onto my radar lately. If any of you saw my tweets about wanting to raise a labrador in Nantucket, this is the site where I got the idea (except she has a Cockapoo!).

I had heard of Mackenzie a few times before from other blogs. Lots of big names tend to crop up on what I call ‘The Big Three’ (carlytheprepster.com, thelondoner.me and nursefancypants.blogspot.com – ie, the blogs that I religiously refresh). But Mackenzie’s is like looking into a portal of what perfection would be. Not necessarily all clean and colourful Nantucket vibes with the beautiful furniture and needlepoints (which are incredible ngl) but the idea of doing your own thing with someone you love and having fun whilst doing it.

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Being

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It’s eight minutes past three in the afternoon and I’m in a local coffee shop with high hopes of “getting my life together”.

In fact, I’m sitting here, with this humongous weight on my chest. I’ve been struggling for a while about what to write, to bring to life the ideas in my head either for this blog or otherwise. I had great plans of figuring everything out but once I sit down, my mind falls blank.

There’s this catch in my throat. I’m feeling guilty about my life at the minute – it’s not something I’ve really experienced before. I rehash events in my head where I was the direct cause of something negative. I go through old ex’s profiles, their new girlfriends seem nice, I try to remind myself that their beauty isn’t an absence of my own but it doesn’t work.

I sort of get now what Britney meant by “my loneliness is killing me”. I wouldn’t really put it so far but there’s definitely been a sense of isolation I have been feeling lately that could be as a result of my location, my job, my all-consuming hobbies, and maybe my lack of desire to do anything in between due to sheer tiredness. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say I was depressed.

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