Here’s To

A brief one as I stand in line for 2018

Here’s to the one who said it was going to be fine, when I was sure it wasn’t.

To the one who wanted a catch up but didn’t let me say a thing.

To the one whose actions contradict their words

To the one who didn’t ask questions and just sent support

To the one who never makes me feel welcome

To the one who thought I had no feelings of my own to hurt.

To the ones I hurt more than I knew.

To the one I wish I ended things better with

To the friends I disappointed by my own lack of courage or back bone

To the one who left me more inspired than when they arrived.

To the one who pulled me aside and said the things I most needed to hear

To the one who stood up for me even when they didn’t have to.

To the ones who said “I missed you” without me saying it first

To the one who admitted their mistakes and still makes me happy even thousands of miles away

To the one I still tiptoe around

To the one I hurt on more than one occasion and knows they are better without me.

To the ones who keep me smiling every single day

To the friends I don’t know where I stand with one day to the next

For the many who said they were there

And the few who truly were

To the ghosters with their cryptic messages, their not-so-innocent likes, the ones that drive me crazy with their interaction or lack thereof

To those who took a chance on me and either ended up pleasantly surprised or bitterly disappointed.

To the friends I’ve isolated myself from and regret deeply as I see them move on without me

Here’s to those who didn’t see the year out

and all those who won’t see the entirety of the next.

Take your shot because nothing is forever. No chance is open ended, no opportunity promised. And for every chance we don’t take, we break a cycle of more positivity, of learning lessons, of happiness.

Be kind, don’t ghost, verbalize, vocalize, scream what you feel until your lungs are raw but don’t force it down anyone’s throat. Learn for yourself that endless money doesn’t take away our emotions of anger, fear or frustration nor does it enhance our feelings of self completion. Make the effort but don’t push what’s not there. Your thoughts aren’t a god given fact, nor are your opinions.

Time heals, most if not, all things. Learn to bite your tongue, pick your battles wisely, and don’t be so reliant on clichés.

You just don’t know what you have until it’s gone.

Happy New Year. Make it count.

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