I did the exact thing I promised myself I wouldn’t do. I hit a wall and crashed.
My Mum returned from the pharmacy today with voltarol, panadol, lemsip, and a quip about how awful I looked. In all fairness, she was right.
(I didn’t take all the medication at once, I promise that.)
I can usually tell when I’m stressed out. It’s when I wake up and my shoulder is aching me. I mean, really aching me. And no amount of extra fast panadol can soothe it. It puts me out of sync with my life. I can’t lie down and nap, I can’t exercise to the best of my ability, and I can’t relax.
To add to this, I’ve had both a bad head cold and a 24 hour bug in the last 36 hours and had to skip work – which just increased my stress levels beyond infinity.
I’ve been crying, getting angry, cranky, having moments where I feel like I have it figured out and then BAM, things flip over and I’m back to where I started. All I want to do is do things but I have no energy or real motivation to do so.
Essentially, I have been sick in probably ever manner of means and it’s been incredibly draining.
It’s ok though, I’ve been here many times and undoubtedly will be again. It’s like a cold – you can feel it coming, you try and brush it off (or you take care of yourself if you’re smart), it hits you and you just have to wait it out.
So I know now that I need to adjust things a little to avoid falling into this pit every seven days. I’m lucky I have the Easter weekend to really focus on why I’m feeling this way and how I can limit burning out in the future.
Here’s what I’m trying:
Taking a break
I’m not going to speak unless spoken to. I’m preserving what energy I have and putting it into the essential things like work and looking after myself. I go for gentle walks, no runs, and drink copious amounts of tea and water.
I’m going back to what makes me happy and build my self esteem back up from there. Writing, drawing, music, taking photos. The works.
I am so poor so no unnecessary spending until I am in a better mental place to do so.
Getting up at reasonable times but not beating myself up if I oversleep.
Taking the damn things might actually help
Approach my life sans judgement
A bit cheesy but I have a habit of thinking about the stressors in my life and get really frustrated. Now is the chance to think objectively over everything going on, and work out the necessary changes. It’s hard not to get panicked over a project you have to do or your friend not talking to you or whatever. But if you give yourself 20 minutes to sit down, tell yourself that you can’t improve if you get annoyed, and just work through it. It really helps.