Difficult Decisions

We all come across them. Those niggling little choices that you have to make, most often in a short time frame. I’m an expert at avoiding them and that usually means that the longer it gets, the harder it is to bite the bullet and just decide.

I knew once I finished college that difficult decisions would arise but I definitely didn’t think they would come around this fast (lol @ me for naivety).

The other day I had a choice between an internship I loved and a job that would get me to the United States. One would pay me in experience (and a little money) and the other would give me the much need funds I needed to go away.

If you weren’t sure, I plan to move to the U.S. in November.

After shooting off my CVs to several different places, I finally got what could only be described as “the job of my dreams”. These chances don’t come around often. Especially since paid interns are few and far between. But I knew that if the dream was to eventually move, I had to seriously reconsider.

And it was hard.

I absolutely loved the internship. It was laid back, fun, professional, and I felt I could relax with the people around me. It was exactly what I wanted. But I knew the pay wouldn’t get me across the Atlantic ocean. And the only way to do that was to get a full-time job in what I knew best. Retail. Sure, the newspaper experience would stand to me in the U.S. but what good is a girl with plenty of experience but no money to move? I didn’t want to go back into retail. Long arduous days, most weekends, on your feet dealing with all kinds of people – not the dream. But it would get me to where I needed to be in the long-term.

This meant that I panicked (in typical me fashion) and I put off making the decision for as long as possible. I didn’t want to find out how much the internship paid in case I would be dealt with bad news (bad call as I ended up getting in quite deep and then having to perform a hit and run, which wasn’t fair on the company now having to find a new intern). I fell so in love with the job that it made it harder to walk away from it. It was like having a good boyfriend but knowing it was never going to work out.

It took an awful lot of courage and heartbreak to do what I did. But I handed in my notice, and left the internship. I firmly believed, and reiterated to them, that it was not the job itself but more my goals for the future that were making me incompatible.

I still believe that retail is the difficult boyfriend that you know, with some hard work, it could end happily. That it may just pay off in the end

I know others may have chosen a different path than the one I did. And I asked a lot of people’s opinions whom I trusted. Not necessarily my best friends but people I knew who if faced with the same choice would make an informed decision. And they all told me the same thing. Why continue something that I know won’t get me to my goal when I know something else out there will.

That’s the wonderful thing of having such strong minds around you. They know what it’s like.

So I guess I learned that sometimes you have to make extreme sacrifices in the short-term so that long-term goals can be realised (like, I kinda knew this but when you’re faced with it, you actually have to put it into practice).

I really hope I made the right choice.


2 thoughts on “Difficult Decisions

  1. Sometimes you have to make these kind of sacrifices! Mine is almost the other way around – not moving abroad so I can get experience in my field! There will always be another option for you to take – you just have to make a decision and try not to think too much about the ‘what ifs’ !


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